THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING THERE
My Shitty Vows
Her Good Vows
The traditional vows state "for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and health". We don't need those here today because except for the final curtain call of death we've already proven that we can overcome every single one of these "derailers" of a happy partnered life.
I don't believe in soul-mates and you don't believe in soul-mates either. That makes this all the more special because we never had the expectation there was one perfect person for each of us. You weren't some perfect soul made especially for me. There is nothing about us that was preordained by the stars, there was no assured destiny to keep us calm and keep us on track knowing that one day we would find that one true love. We had to suffer, we had to work for it, not being assured there would be a happy ending but finding one anyway.
We are not two halves of a whole. There is no "complete me". I was a whole, unbroken if imperfect, person before I met you. But life has certainly been so much better because of you and I can't imagine how much less happy, colorful, cared for, and loved my life would be without you.
I know that I am deeply flawed and imperfect , and It's a trite cliche that no one is perfect. It's not even true that we are perfect for each other, yet here we are and nothing could be more right. Despite my imperfections you find something in me to love and cling too and for that I am grateful, and it is why I have no hesitation in being here today. I fully believe that a secret to appreciating each other is both people never believing they deserve their partner and always working to earn them; I know that you put forth this effort for me and I hope my effort matches the depths to which I feel this of you.
May we live a long and happy life together, but I know whatever time is afforded to us is bound to be happy. For what it's worth you've changed my and Evie's lives for the better, forever. I will never be able to express the depths of my gratitude to you, and love for you, for everything, but I will spend the rest of my life, until my last breath, trying.
Jaime: What attracted me was your indifference. Your unapproachable and brusque demeanor presented a superficial attraction for a male in a hunting mentality.
Very quickly though, I grew fascinated by the chocolate Inscrutability of your eyes. Seeing each other in those early days and gaining insight in to who you are was like seeing the first brush strokes of a masterpiece. And this thing between us started to feel like the prelude of many more chapters, in a novel I hope will somehow never be completed. But this novel actually has three protagonists.
Evie: You are not my offspring. You are not biologically mine, and there's nothing I can do about that part. But in my private moments when I imagine a child that IS of my genetic makeup, he or she doesn't compare to who you are and what you are becoming. You are the best kid I could have possibly had the good fortune of parenting. I lucked out.
I love your sense of humor, your cheek, your sarcastic demeanor...
I love our dynamic; our mutual razzing; our genuine moments of shared affection.
I adore that you can be serene and happy in any atmospheric conditions, no matter how tempestuous.
My vow to you is to bust my ass to make sure that your most innocent form of happiness endures as long as possible.
I vow that while you are not mine by blood, I will always be yours. I will always be YOUR father.
Jaime: I talked about Evie’s ever-ready disposition for merriment. It's very different with you. When I met you, you're life experiences weren't always exactly scrapbook-worthy. Your life has been more of an odyssey, and when I met you, you had the wary/hardened disposition of Ulysses when he finally landed on the shores of Ithaca. But there are moments in our time together where I DO see that youthful mirth breach through your perennial neutrality.
I spy the silhouette of your expression in those moments: when we are at a play or musical, when we sort through baubles at a kitschy boutique, and ironically when I make an irreverent joke or vulgar comment...
And though your journey has burdened your sensitive nature with a cynical shell, I’ve always had a private door in the sentimental magma that is you. For both of us, our union felt like finally arriving at your destination. It felt like a happy homecoming in BOTH of our odysseys and it felt like stormy seas were mostly behind us. But that wasn't necessarily to be, and the truth is it that utopia may simply not exist, but that doesn’t matter because WE always will.
In spite of whatever comes, this is my simple vow: I will be relentless/tenacious/implacable in my pursuit of being the place that always feels like home, the sanctuary for the most innocent form of you, the place where you’re finally at the end of a long journey.
I vow to dedicate my life's actions to give you that secret smile for the rest of our lives. I love you.